Writer's Ink is the class publication for English 492, Senior Seminar in Writing, offered at Heidelberg College during Fall 2006. The major writing projects published here represent the culmination of these students' writing careers at Heidelberg.
This year's publication may well be the most "edgy" and experimental of all the previous issues. From a priest-killing avenger to a bed-burning husband to a bartending bumblebee, expect the unexpected in this collection.
Other than formatting the text for the website, the editor takes no responsibility for the writing published here.
Yes, it's a parody--get over it! See the original.
The Ultimate Guide for Preparing YOU for the High School
Hi, I’m Jenny Bresler. I am currently in my last semester majoring in English, Writing. In my spare time I like to read, eat sushi, watch Judge Judy, and of course write. I love the warm weather and when the time (and money) is right I am moving to Florida. I am presently waiting to hear back from the Cuyahoga County Child Support Enforcement Agency to start a career in public service. Watch out dead beat dads!
The Legend of the Nose Picker and The Truth About Adam and Dustin
My name is Kenny Brown and I am an English-Writing Major who will be graduating in May of 2007. I have grown up in Bloomville, Ohio. Up to this point the small town life has been my thing, but now I’m ready for a change. My small town background always finds a way of seeping into my writing whether its poetry or fiction. Before my Senior year at Heidelberg my main interest was in writing poetry, that was mainly because I have had more experience writing it than fiction. Now that I have taken an independent study in fiction I have found that I enjoy writing it as much as love writing poetry. I could tell you what my plans are after I graduate, but I won’t. If there’s one thing that creeps me out, it’s the thought of people knowing much about me. Heidelberg has helped me grow as a writer and I’m sure I will do something. The best compliment I received about my writing abilities while studying here was, “You’re a good writer because you have people living inside your head.” To some extent this is true. I could name them all for you, but I won’t. I don’t have that kind of time.
Hi! My name is Kristie and I am currently a senior English and Education/English major. Unfortunately, at Heidelberg the term “senior” is often relative, for I will not be graduating until December of 2007. Raised not far from Tiffin, I grew up in the country and enjoy living a more simplistic lifestyle. Until I was in sixth grade, I lived in a haunted house (yes, I did see the ghost), so I have always had an attraction to the supernatural, especially in literature. I was introduced to V.C. Andrews books at an early age, which could explain why I chose to write such a disturbing story. After graduation, I plan to either try my hand away from my domestic comfort zone and go to graduate school for Deaf Education, or postpone my educational pursuits for a year and become an educator at a small rural school. In my spare time, I love doing anything active, especially running.
A College Student's Survival Guide
Julia Hada, author of “A College Student’s Survival Guide”, is a senior English-Writing major from Painesville, Ohio. On campus, Julie is an active member of Young Democrats, runs the head table at ‘Berg wrestling matches, and is a tutor for the football team. Her heroes include Mighty Mouse, Andy Warhol, and James “The Ragin’ Cajun” Carville. She also enjoys long walks on the beach, getting caught in the rain, and a nice glass of Pinot Grigio at the end of a long day. After Heidelberg, she plans to attend graduate school and receive her Masters in School Counseling.
Out of Touch
You are Eric Hodkinson, an English/Creative Writing major at Heidelberg College. You enjoy frozen burritos, Chinese food, a nice glass of Campari on the rocks, horror movies, listening to Tom Waits on cold nights with a bottle close by while writing in the second person. While you’ve written several screenplays you also enjoy writing short stories and poems along with the occasional short novel. You also live in a log cabin, on the outskirts of Tiffin, OH, that many have said is haunted, but your black cats keep the evil spirits at bay.
My name is Rebecca Kisicki and I am a senior English Composition major with a minor in Religion, and a strong concentration in Media Communication. During my time here at Heidelberg I have been the secretary for Inter-Residence Hall council and Alpha Phi Omega, and the president of Alpha Phi Omega. I am originally from Chesterland, (an adorable speck of a town about twenty miles northeast of downtown Cleveland) Ohio. I enjoy reading, writing, cooking, playing games, and listening to rad music. I would love to obtain my Masters degree and go on to work in the magazine business within the next few years. My publication on this site is a magazine geared toward the college female and her typically varied interests such as entertainment, sports, relationships, and college itself. Enjoy!
I am currently a senior at Heidelberg College, majoring in English with a writing focus. I graduated from Medina Buckeye High School in 2003. I am a very accomplished wrestler at the high school and college level. After I complete my bachelors degree I plan to attend grad school, and I am looking into becoming a coach at the college level.
I’m Chris and I come from Orrville, Ohio. My on-campus activities include working at the Advancement Office, Sigma Tau Delta, and involvement with the theater department. This is balanced with my responsibilities as an Orientation Leader and a Resident Assistant. In my spare time, I write, I watch classic movies while listening to Hotel California to see if they sync up in a significant way, I’m a fan of Michigan football, and on weekends, I go curling with friends. After graduation, I will pursue a Master of Fine Arts in Arts Administration. Also, a note of interest is that I was recently honored as a Reading Genius by the City of Tiffin. I now own a key to the city and drive the Bookmobile.
Price of Perfection
I’m originally from Elmore, OH—a small town in the middle of corn fields and about 30 minutes from any form of entertainment. This could explain why I have grown an attachment to reading and writing. I’m a double major in English-Writing (obviously) and Public Relations, and unfortunately have no idea what I want to do with it when I graduate in May. On campus, I am also involved in Delta Sigma Chi and Sigma Tau Delta. Other than that, my favorite things to do are sailing, hanging out at my family’s cottage, and succumbing to my addiction to House.
Minister Von Spahr
Jim Scherf is a senior English writing major and a Communications Theater performance major from Fremont, OH. He enjoys watching movies, reading books by Chuck Palahniuk and getting together with friends. His projected date of graduation is December of 2006. The screenplay by Scherf is entitled, "Minister Von Spahr: The First Scripture." It is the chilling tale of a murdered father and the revenge a son brings to a corrupt faith. Mixed with action are cheesy lines that are sure to make you laugh. This is Scherf?s first published work and he hopes it will bring enjoyment to many. Scherf leaves this remark, in honor of Dr. Bill Reyer: "Write well!"
My name is Jared Woodland. I am a Writing major and Philosophy minor. I chose these two disciplines because I believe that it is at their intersection where literature exists in its richest and profoundest form. I believe the life of the mind is the only life. Henry Miller changed my understanding of the written word: since reading his work, I have sought almost exclusively the transgressive, experimental, and surreal. I am currently applying to MFA-fiction programs.
Dave Kimmel burst on the pop music scene in 1963 with the smash hit "I Don't Know How to Tell You This, Honey, But You Have a Piece of Spinach Stuck Between Your Teeth." After bouts with alcoholism, drug addiction, and Andre the Giant, Dave retired in 1981 to a bungalow in Cicero, Illinois. In his spare time, he writes self-help books for iguanas.